The Basic Lies of the Universe
- Milli Vanilli really did sing.
- The check is in the mail.
- Professional wrestling is real.
- Food is served in college dining halls.
- Rap is music.
- A great song was on the radio.
- Never needs sharpening.
- Military Intelligence.
- Trust me. Everything is fine.
- The meaning of life.
- The garden weasel really is as useful as it appears on T.V.
- Daylight Savings Time.
- Less filling.
- Fast food restaurants.
- Family fun.
- I shoulda had a V-8.
- Public education.
- You can even cut a tin can with it.
- Militant Agnostics.
- The moon is made of green cheese and cows can jump over it.
- The most mellow creatures on Earth are the porpoises, so if you
want to be mellow, you have to get into a porpoise kind of
frame of mind, and try to breathe through the top of your head,
then think waves.
- Surprisingly affordable.
- Long Island Expressway.
- Stays crunchy in milk.
- Nietzche is God --- The Dead's Hypothesis
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- Color television is a fad.
- Intelligence is the lack of dumbness.
- Even odds.
- Post hoc ergo propter hoc.
- True Psychics Network, et. al.
- When you multiply six by nine you get forty-two.
Do you know some Basic Lie of the Universe that isn't on this list?
Email it to Dave and it might
be permanently added to this official, comprehensive list. Your name
will also be added to the list of contributors.