the Villa Straylight

Goth in a Snowstorm

Imagine if you will, a weary traveller returning from winter break to a house in Buffalo, New York, where nobody has been around to shovel the accumulating snow in the past month. Three feet of well packed snow and ice covering the driveway. Can't leave the car on the street, because the snow plow will be zooming by at 40mph any time now. No real snow shovels, just these silly plastic things.

Don't wanna deal with this. Don't have much choice. Shot of Firewater. Shot of Rumpleminz. Repeat. Repeat. Pick up shovel and just start moving solid water around. Too thick and dense to shovel straight across, have to work in layers. Back starting to ache, switch to left-handed to abuse a different set of muscles for a while.

Ah, finally. That's almost enough to get a third of the car into the driveway. Why do I own a station wagon? Why don't I just invent a time machine 30 years from now and pop back to here and now and give myself a handy little snow remover? Well, that's not working either. Shot of Firewater. Shot of Rumpleminz. Repeat. Repeat. Shove some more water around. Layer by layer. Foot by foot.

Exhausted. Almost done. But exhausted. No energy. Gotta finish, move car, go inside, be warm. Can't lift shovel. Have to. Oops. I fell down. Nice, cool, snow. Soft, comfortable snow. Should get up. Too tired. Rest. Just a little while. Rest. So tired. Not sleep. Fall asleep in snow bank, not wake up. So? Not a bad way to go. Just fall asleep. No. Why not? Don't know, just get up. Can't. Can't move. Muscles not working. Too tired. Wanna nap. Maybe just die for a little while. Like until June when this glacier finally melts.

Dammit! You know you're not allowed to die yet! Get your lazy ass up, you stupid selfish bastard! You can't take the easy way out! You may not care, but you know /they/ do. Some really special people need you to be around a while longer. I know you already gave up on you, but don't you dare give up on them. Get up you stupid fuck! You need a good smack? And another? How many more? You're not moving yet! Oh, it's starting to hurt is it? Then get your stupid fucking lazy worthless selfish ass the fuck up out of that snow!

Okay, okay... I'm up. I've got my goddam shovel. Just a little more snow to move. Just two more feet. Layer by God-disproving layer. Almost there. And one more. And that's good enough. Get the keys. Move the car. Chuck the cheap-ass piece-of-shit shovel. Go inside. Collapse.

from the mind of David Andrew Michael Noelle
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Last Modified: 04:18:13 AM, Tuesday, April 14, 1998
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